Schedule: Four or five posts a week
So, I was gonna review The Becoming today, and I might review it later (short version: it's good), but something unexpected came up. I found out towards the end of my reading that The Becoming had just been reviewed a few weeks ago, and since I didn't feel like writing a lot today, I figured I'd read the review and post a quick follow-up on its points.
It turns out, this is no ordinary review blog, and I decided I'd have more fun reviewing this blog than reviewing the comic. Here goes.
Review of Outsider: It takes Helen 300 words to write this: "It's a kinda-manga sci-fi comic with moral ambiguity."
Review of Namesakes: Most confusing review ever. I feel like I need a "review-to-English" translator to get through this one. All I got out of it's that the main character gets more page-time than the other characters (really?!), and that good writing and art's "not necessarily [sic] for a good webcomic, [but] definitely helps." I'd love to hear, Helen, how a webcomic can be good without having good writing or artwork.
Review of Mahou Shonen Fight: In the pre-review, Helen states, "I've honestly run out of witty things to say about webcomics," yet she proceeds to post four new reviews, and then continues to keep posting reviews in the days afterwards. Thanks for keepin' it real, Helen. So, does her review of this shonen comic live up to her lofty expectations? She calls the story "cheesy," but admits she likes it because she "starts giggling whenever she finds magical boys." Cool.
Review of Modest Medusa: According to Helen, it's a comedy, and it involves something called "chocodiles." She even goes out of her way to post a link to the Wikipedia entry for chocodiles. Thanks, Helen, for your insightful commentary.
Review of Monster Pulse: Helen summons the full extent of her literary might in describing "kids suddenly having their body parts come to life" as "creepy." She also notes she'd give the webcomic "a very solid recommendation" solely because it "updates regularly," going out of her way to point out how extremely low her standards are.
Review of My Finn: The art's "adorable," the plot's "interesting," the chick in the comic has amnesia (how original), and Helen's "really curious where everything is going to go next." At least we know Helen's keyboard's still in working condition.
Review of Lintier: Basically: "This comic's a sequel to Lint, so if you liked Lint, you'll probably like this comic." Really, Helen? I don't even know what Lint is, and I could tell someone the same thing. She also somehow manages to break 200 words without even mentioning the comic's artwork.
Review of Loldwell!: This 120-word review's so short, Helen felt compelled to double-space it into order to make it look less pathetic. But trimming the fat (yes, there's fat to trim in a four-sentence review), here's the actual review: "It's a 'comedy comic that doesn't focus on anything in particular,' and 'the humor is just so spot on.'" 19 words.
Review of Knite: Helen's blown away by this webcomic's "deep message" that "real life problems [sic] are rarely simply and easily solved," which suggests this is the first piece of creative writing she's ever experienced. Helen also uses 146 words to show the comic uses flash animation instead of conventional pages, but her critique of the artwork is calling it "quite lovely" and writing she likes "how the lighting is used."
Review of Hark! A Vagrant: Here's another double-spaced beauty, this one weighing in at 200 words. I'll trim a little fat here, a little more there, and let's see what we wind up with: "I don't enjoy this comic." Wow, Hark! totally just got burned.
Review of Gaia: "A younger comic but since it seems to be both moving and updating at a brisk pace, has already established a conflict and has introduced a number of characters I'm going to take the plunge and recommend it anyway." Sorry, Helen, but if your standards are so low you'll recommend anything, your recommendations become irrelevent. And the reality's that people have a limited amount of time and patience, so they're not gonna wanna read every webcomic that meets your highbrow requirements of having "characters" and "conflict." Sort of like how I wouldn't recommend your blog just because "it has words in it."
Overall: Helen might wanna take a look at a Webcomic Above thread, or the Smack Jeeves reviews subforum, to get an idea of what a webcomic review actually is. Other than that, thanks, Helen, for brightening what was otherwise a pretty boring day.